Words Of Wisdom: Keeping Balance

There are feelings, and then there are actions. 

Your feelings can affect your actions (you are sad, and you cry or seek out a friend), and your actions can affect your feelings (you go for a walk after dinner and you feel refreshed).   The cause and effect between the two can be be negative if we are not careful, for example you feel sad and eat a carton of ice cream, or you work late and feel guilty you missed time with the family, but the connection between the two remain.  They are not isolated islands.  Balance is sometimes lost when we let one of these things take too much control.

You might be letting your feelings have all the control if:

• You are feeling overwhelmed and it's paralysing you or making you unproductive.
• Your feelings are getting in the way of getting along or interacting effectively with people.

You may be letting your actions have all the control if:

• You actively suppress thoughts or feelings telling yourself you can't think about that right now.
• You are caught up in the race and justify, or try not to worry about who gets hurt in the process.

If you feel like your life is lacking balance or feels out of control, quickly consider which one those two scenarios applies to you.  Are you letting feelings have all the say?  Or are you letting actions push your feelings off to the side?  Take a second to decide which one applies to you and read the appropriate set of suggestions below:

If you are letting feelings have all the control:

Think of one time today when you can focus on taking action.  Yes, it can be something that takes 60 seconds or less!  It could be one small thing on your to do list you can get done, that phone call you've been putting off, or a walk you can take after dinner because you know it will make you feel good.  When you've done it, be aware of how you feel.  Congratulations!  You have let action influence your feelings, rather than being re-active and being a prisoner to your emotions.

If you are letting your actions have all the control: 

Think of one time today when you can allow your emotions have some input into the decision.  And yes, it can be something that takes 60 seconds or less.  Are you feeling bad about something that you can easily fix?  Is there someone you've been meaning to call and feel bad because you haven't?  Do you want to tear up that aggrivating email with the passive aggressive comments in it from your sibling?  Well, print it out and do it!  Don't suppress that feeling, let it have say in what you do next.  Your emotions can be useful and productive, and can help keep you focussed on what actually is important in your life, and keeps us human.  Ask yourself how you feel about something, and try acting on that.  Congratulations!  You are being authentic and true to yourself by letting your emotions have there say, or at least an outlet.

Having a Conflict or Experiencing a Challenge?

Ask yourself what's in control:  You're emotions or your actions.  If one has the predominant control, find a way for the other to play a part in what's happening.